Some family things, company and also ministry things has keep my mind busy enough. All these things required a lot of my attention and mental-power, sometimes I also don't know what to do. I noticed I'm no longer pressure-immune like I used to think I was. At least my stomach told me that fact, 'it' complaints already.
Recently I was very distracted, and unable to focus really well on exercising plans many occasions in the past few months. Felt like things out of control, lost of direction(s), feeling very helpless in fact. I noticed I
seldom feel that way, I noticed I was usually very confident in handling things of my own.
Well, what can I say, God is real and I'm almost 100% sure by now that He really cares for my growth, as a servant and at the same time as a leader. It's kind of complicated emotions. On one hand, I should be more "put down hard" (放心) cause He has plans for me. On the other hand, I'm also taking on my new frontier newer path way for my career, family and ministry, you know, it's dark and scary out there in the new frontier.
I certainly hope that God will be brighter that I can imagine in the dark.
What's important is, I am beginning to believe that He is.