It is Spring ~ * ~ * ~* ~

What do you think of horses? Are they elegant? Are they arrogant? Or, Are they friendly? You will never think of this. Actually, horses behave like dogs. I stopped by at a pasture to take the horses’ picture. When I was there, the horses dared not approached me. After a while, they came to me and wanted me to pat them. They are so friendly. They are just like dogs.

Why do we think that horses are arrogant? It is because the horses that we usually see are “dressed up.” Their owners will put saddles at their backs. The saddles are so heavy that make them uncomfortable. They have no freedom and cannot run freely. They are just like us human. When we put too much burdens on our back, we will not have freedom in God. Look at the horses at that pasture. They are without saddles. They feel free to run around. Let us leave our burdens to God and have freedom from God.

The horses with saddles on their back and perform in front of thousand look faked. Ya, it is true that they look so elegant and gain applauds from thousand. However, they are not who they are. The real them is gentle, active, and humble. When saddles are put at their backs, they look so arrogant and behave differently. Are we the same with them? Yes, we are. Sometimes, if we put too much burdens on out shoulders, we will become a faked person in order to pretend we are ok.

Another thing, few days ago, I was not in a good mood. I felt so “tired” on serving. Actually, ‘tired’ was just a reason to cover my real reason. The real reason was that no one praised me anymore. I was so arrogant when people praise me. I did not acknowledge my weakness and arrogant. Thanks God for tearing me down. God showed me with four different people.

May God remind us everyday, every hour, every minute, and every second of who we are!

ai-chin

I am tired

I am tired mentally and physically. I am tired of school, serving, friends and time, and emotion.

As you all know, my school is crazy. I just need to take more vitamins to keep myself healthy.

I am tired of serving. I have no more juice on serving. I do not know the reason of serving. Is it because of human needs or God’s need? I do not want to serve without purpose. I need clarify.

I am tired of friends and time. Well, I will call you on that day! I don’t yet! Oh, I am so sorry! I can’t go to meet you at 2pm, my friend just call me! Oh, sure, I will be there! (turn out, he or she is not there). Are they taking time and friendship seriously? I do not know. I have no faith on myself. Why can’t they have the same perspective with me?

My emotion is detestable. When I am on my way to forget about him, he calls, not one time, but many times. I already make myself clear to him. I ask God. “God, why do you let me suffer because of him?” Thousand of WHYs.

I could not take all these anymore. I needed to talk. I talked and shared. “You need to stop and thing.” Kathleen. I stopped, thought, and reorganized myself. I learned that it is important for me to stay firmly in God, hold on to God’s promise strongly. Do not be shaken by our enemy, Mr. Tan Sa.

Glory to the God on high. He always prepares someone to be there for me.

Ai-chin

endless episodes after a safe landing

i looked at my two months old vincci white watch.......10.35pm. i murmured to myself..... thank GOD for a safe journey. it was raining cats and dogs in kl. we left sibu at about 9pm. a quick flight from the usual schedule.......hubby and i woke joel up from his 1.5 hours nap or rather sleep. we waited.....n waited ......n waited......our episodes began.....

1st episode-we have to walk under the rain ....nay.....under the red umbrella (air asia trademark) before reaching the terminal. thank GOD joel did not ask me to carry him. coz last year i have to carry him n his doraemon (the blue thing in jeffreson's size).

2nd episode-a big crowd welcomed us once we step into the terminal.....nay....the crowd was waiting for their luggage. hubby joined them as i carried joel (yup...he wanted me to carry him) to the restroom-wee wee. came out, spotted hubby but still waiting for our luggage. the crowd was getting bigger like a pasar malam scenario.

3rd episode-stepped out from the airport and a big limo waited to pick us up...nay...the long queue of humans waiting for taxis. hubby called the taxi driver that supposed to pick us up...to check his whereabouts..n to our surprise he was still on his way to send his passenger home. he said" my 9.30pm passenger's flight was delayed.... so i thought your flight will be delay as well. can you wait for another er...45minutes (we doubted so)" hubby said no.

4th episode-hubby went back into the airport and queue up to buy the ticket for airport taxi. just a few people before hubby the counter staff said there are out of tickets n have to wait for another hour......hubby went for the last option....bought the bus ticket....

5th episode-hubby, joel n me juggled with our luggage n settled ourselves in the bus to kl sentral.....reached kl sentral and few taxi drivers waited patiently for their businesses. one approached hubby n asked for rm30 to send us back home that is setapak. hubby too tired to negotiate... reached home at 2 something.......

6th episode-home sweet home.........i love my home n my bed..........

in life we have to go through all these episodes of unforeseen circumstances...we never expect this to happen but it just.....though frustrated, we recognize GOD's presence.......my formula.........

safe landing (with GOD's protection)+

kelam kabut in airport (with GOD's leading)

= home sweet home (GOD's given destiny)

鄭秀文的見證 - I will follow Him

Sammi Cheng gave her testimony and sang a song "I will follow Him" in her concert, SHOW MI 2007. Excellent! Sammi will know the TRUTH and the TRUTH will set her free. It is because JESUS says, "I AM THE WAY AND THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE!"

I believe her testimony and her ongoing faith in Christ can have positive impacts on non-believers.

Vision for life

HI every young eaglets out there,
It's a joy to see you all growing inmaturity and stength. It's been my vision right from the beginning of my call to my ministry. I want to see young people saved and being Charge to live on fire as a a people of God. I have been observing you. Some of you growing faster and some of you slower. But the fact is that all of you are growing in different paste. Even tough sometime you really feel like christian life is so monotonous and difficult to live. But in the actual fact you did not give up and in actual fact chriastian life can be interesting and full of excitment. Jesus is the most interesting person in the history of mankind or else there won't be so many people following him until today. Friends. Life is in your hand. It's up to you to decide how you want to live your live to the fullness. I am here to help you to see God's given life is the best life. CHOOSE GODLY LIFE. Have a vision of God in your life. Do not let the things of the world distract you form the best that God wants for you. He loves you.

请听。我说

鼓励和关怀对于不懂得安然接受的人，是一种自己当时也无法理解的压力。很感激曾经从容我做出无理要求的人，打从心底感激曾经用沉默陪伴我的人。很感激曾经伸出双手帮助我但被拒绝却不放弃的人。很感激一路以来陪我成长，使我成长的人。

言语的沟通方式对于不善于表白内心感受的人，他们是残缺的。内心的感受往心里藏是直接的，是必然的。很感激允许我流泪却不忘给我机会学习弥补我的残缺的人。在直坦的高速公路上，谢谢曾经让我勇敢起来的人。

人生好比一篇文章。主题可以是一样，不同的是内容。内容的精彩，就在于我们把生命的笔交给了谁去写。故事内容可以很精彩，要拿个满分我们的老师往往不会忘记标点符号的重要。有人说；在你生命的历程中，你不能在上帝打句点的地方加上问号。开始擦掉多余的问号吧！从新开始生命的另一段。精彩的文章需要分段，有条有理按次序地写。也许开始新的一段不容易，很多时候都无从下手。最近有个朋友说：“听听你的心如何说”。我对自己说：“等候耶和华的人必从新得力，再听听我的心如何说，下一段的内容会更精彩”。

疲乏的他赐能力，软弱的他加力量。就是少年人也要困倦，强壮的也必全然跌倒，但那等候耶和华的必从新得力，他们必展翅上腾。他们奔跑却不困倦，行走却不疲乏。 ~ 赛40：30-31

沙土上与磐石上的房子

“所以，凡听见我这些话又遵行的，就像聪明的人，把自己的房子盖在磐石上。雨淋、水冲、风吹，摇撼那房子，房子却不倒塌，因为建基在磐石上。凡听见我这些话却不遵行的，就像愚蠢的人，把自己的房子盖在沙土上。雨淋、水冲、风吹，摇撼那房子，房子就倒塌了，并且倒塌得很厉害。”（马太福音7章24-27节）
这几句经文很真实地呈现了我生命的写照。
我就是那听见了却不遵行的人，是愚蠢的人，把自己的房子盖在沙土上。当风雨来击的时候，房子就摇撼倒塌了，并且倒塌得很厉害。无可否认，这几年来我都没有好好地在神的话语上扎根，没有把根基打好，没有真正的把信心建立在神的身上，而是建立在他的恩典上！当我看到神的恩典的时候，我不会感谢神，我只会视之为理所当然。但是当我遇到困难的时候，我就会开始埋怨神为什么没有为我开路，为什么没有帮助我，我的身心灵就会完完全全的被拉到低谷！在这几年里，每每遇到小小的风雨时，我都很容易就被击垮。算起来，差不多6年了。在这6年里，我就是过着这样的生活。每一次流泪祷告时，不是因为他的鞭伤钉痕及救赎，让我感动流泪，而是因为自己觉得自己很痛苦，很伤心，觉得为什么神不帮助我，而流着泪的苦苦哀求，希望神看到我的眼泪，应允我的祷告。
但最近的一次，我彻彻底底的被拉倒了，一蹶不振。我累了，我甚至对神有一种报复的心态，我故意不去聚会，故意不去小组，甚至是伤害自己的身体！在这段期间，我自怜自艾，我不断的找人倾诉我内心的痛与累，期待有人会明白我内心的感受，同情我，可怜我。但我想要的同情可怜却重来没有出现过，反而我看到的却是神的爱。我被上帝的爱满满的包围着，让我不再想要自怜自艾，而是更加的渴慕他的爱，能够更加地认识他，亲近他！
在往后的日子，我祷告我们都能够成为那听见又遵行的聪明人，把自己的房子盖在磐石上。雨淋、水冲、风吹，摇撼那房子，房子却不倒塌，因为建基在磐石上。Amen？

你是我永远的救主

Changes are unavoidable!

2008大选成绩出来了, 看来表面上的改变是在所难免了.
我愿神的旨意行在地上如同行在天上!
祂使万事互相效力, 叫爱神的人得益处.

安心 :- )

Why?

I couldn't upload any picture already... donno why? Well today is a bit moody... saddy eventhough is a Friday.

Lot's of question came out from my mind today. Well... I think I'm the person who is really that kind of "lack of faith", what happen to the real promise of God to me? Why do I always forgot about Him? Why just so difficult to keep up a healthy spiritual life? Why I always just look at myself but always look down on what God can do for me? I question sometimes, does God really exist? I ask myself... well look... you can't see the air, can't smell it, can't even touch it but when you breathe the air, it keeps you alive isn't it? I can't see God, can't smell God, can't even touch God? but somehow, the words of God gave me hope and all kinds of consolation and that is "REAL" enough for me!

Why? why? why? so many why! I realise the more I ask "why", my faith is getting less. Now here is a qestion, what is the most important facts that you should look at it in your life journey? To me is when I'll be able to look futher ahead and just concentrate on God's promise, and whatever in front of me is just... "hey, it's alright"!
Hallelujah! ha ha! coz God is in Control!

P/s: From the bottom of my heart, I don't feel like posting this in the first place, but... I just did it! and I just realise I get motivated for what I did, weird... hah!

Fasting & Praying .. .. .. Feasting & Playing

The last 6 months has been a struggling experience for me. Ever since the doctor advised me not to take any coffee (in fact, any caffeinated drinks), it was sort of a disaster for me cause I really like coffee... it was due to my stomach & gastric problem loh !

Also with this stomach problems, I have not been doing my usual prayer meeting fasting ever since then, I'm becoming weak in stomach-ache resistance.

You know we Chinese always wanted not fasting but feasting? All events organized usually end-up with at least a certain amount of food, light or heavy.

Now it comes the fasting and praying week beginning 03-Mar. Well, at first I was a little struggle and hesitate for the week cause I'm not quite sure of my 35-year-old stomach buddy can take it or not, but thank God He reminded me again and again that He is a better Gastrologist, furthermore the best Gastrologist ever exist cause He was the designer of stomach.


So I think I'm going to stop feasting and playing (at least for this week, ha) and start Fasting & Praying for my doctor's Kingdom. Let's do it together :-)