Wednesday, 26 March 2008
I am tired
I am tired mentally and physically. I am tired of school, serving, friends and time, and emotion.
As you all know, my school is crazy. I just need to take more vitamins to keep myself healthy.
I am tired of serving. I have no more juice on serving. I do not know the reason of serving. Is it because of human needs or God’s need? I do not want to serve without purpose. I need clarify.
I am tired of friends and time. Well, I will call you on that day! I don’t yet! Oh, I am so sorry! I can’t go to meet you at 2pm, my friend just call me! Oh, sure, I will be there! (turn out, he or she is not there). Are they taking time and friendship seriously? I do not know. I have no faith on myself. Why can’t they have the same perspective with me?
My emotion is detestable. When I am on my way to forget about him, he calls, not one time, but many times. I already make myself clear to him. I ask God. “God, why do you let me suffer because of him?” Thousand of WHYs.
I could not take all these anymore. I needed to talk. I talked and shared. “You need to stop and thing.” Kathleen. I stopped, thought, and reorganized myself. I learned that it is important for me to stay firmly in God, hold on to God’s promise strongly. Do not be shaken by our enemy, Mr. Tan Sa.
Glory to the God on high. He always prepares someone to be there for me.